Tracks (08)

Haunted, definition : having or showing signs of mental anguish or torment. 

Torment, definition: cause to exprience severe mental or physical suffering. 

Every time I hear the train go by I’m reminded of the fresh smell of dog treats and pineapple upside down cake. I’m reminded of my mortality and the frail nature of my flesh. 

I tell you a thousand times, you have no idea the burdens your neighbor caries. I learned that lesson for myself when I stared into a blank white wall and wished everything would just stop. 

If only I had paid more attention to the little traces of humanity that had been left behind maybe I wouldn’t be haunted by the back door that I patiently await to swing open or the sight of the old church where we spent all our time. 

I’m sorry. 

I should have brought you home that night.  

When someone dies the world pushes on, but I believe that to only be half true. I found humanity and humlity in the absence of a life that was only part of mine for a little while. I forget little details somedays and remember vivd detailed ones different days. 

On days like today I find myself feeling very human. I remember that I am frail and faulty, but far from unloved. 

Today the train passed by. 

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