Cheese (21)

That’s me, carrot and all. I was seventeen here and this back then was my favorite photo. 

Those here to read about my wedding and my new husband, well I’m actually going to still tie that in, I just really need to address this topic. 

This photo along with many others of its kind were taken by one of my closest friends from high school. He was kind, somewhat of a genius, and the new kid. His friendship would lead to countless adventures and photos, most I no longer have. In classic teenager going on adult fashion, emotions, immaturity, and a lack of empathy ended our friendship. I look back on those last few months with my friends and have strange regrets, but I mostly regret not staying friends with the nice boy who once built a computer. I also regret the stranger I introduced to my friend group, but that’s a different story for a different day. 

These photos remind me of the simple days before we turned about nineteen, these were the days when we would get weird sunburns and run loose on the pier. We were children yet to be changed by the uncertainty of our early twenties. We had not suffered the pain of what was to later come in our lives. Looking back I now understand that as we got closer to our twenties we were acting based on our frustrations that rattled us behind closed doors. 

Death of love ones and friends had not yet reached us. 

Fear of the future had not yet reached us. 

The idea that we could all just naturally be pulled in different directions had not yet reached us. 

These friends once threw a birthday party when a member of the friend group parents had accidently forgotten his birthday. 

These friends once wore matching purple outfits and marched around together. 

These friends were all once part of a kindness club at their high school. 

The older I get I look back and I can’t tell you how fondly I think of these young kids and frown on some of the events that occurred in their lives. These kids are bright beautiful pieces of potential. The boy that took these pictures was always a wiz with computers, and I always knew he’d be something great. 

So what does all of that have to do with my marriage or my husband? 

Everything. 

I’m twenty-three now and a lot of those experiences and those laughs helped me shape who I am as well as the bad times and the end of some of those friendships. Nothing ever lasts forever, however,  those experiences taught me empathy and understanding and would allow me to do certain things a lot differently in the future. I will never again be a seventeen- year old digital artist and time will forever move forward. As I now scroll through the feed of marriages, college grads, and babies, I’m reminded how quickly we’ve grown into adults. 

We’re tiny pieces of the people who raised us mixed with our experiences in search of a future. 

I was once a teenager sitting at the feet of adventure, my dreams were simple and my thoughts complicated. The fondness I feel for these times are both romantic and genuine. These pictures were a great way to start my marriage because they remind me of where I came from and how much has changed. I look at these photos with the hope that I will do that quirky girl some amazing justice. I know just how scared she was.

 It brings me great pleasure to see everyone doing well and I hope that whenever anyone gets down on themselves that they remember simply that time is still moving and a lot has changed. 

Well, mostly. 

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