No other plans (17)

(re upload) 

Hello there, long time no see. 

I promise you I can explain this very long absence, and I will the only way I know how, dope blog post. 

So the story begins like this, my fiance and I had been planning to move from California to Michigan after our wedding which had been planned for the 3rd of March. I can tell you that from the time I had even befriended my fiance things had really never worked out as planned, even our relationship was a happy accident born of broken plans. 

At the end of January we had received  word that his mother was critically ill and that he needed to go to Michigan.I remember thinking to myself what would be the quickest way to call out of work and how quickly could I join him in leaving back to Michigan. 

Our time in Michigan spanded over a month long, and was filled by far with the most amazing people I’ve met in a long time. The hospital waiting room was always filled with people coming to show love for his mother and family, and kind people always willing to bring meals or just the company of a friendly face. 

Up until this time, I had only spent about a week with my mother-in-law to be, but I could already tell by the out pour of love how many people’s hearts she had touched. I’m no doctor, but I think all the love and support is what helped her get out of the hospital sooner than expected. 

I still didn’t get to spend a lot of personal time with my mother-in-law to be, but I must brag on her for a second. I watched her fight from critical condition to discharge without rehab. Guys, she’s one strong woman and the amount of strength and courage shown by her during that time was not only inspiring, but life altering. 

Also, my new almost sister is a hockey playing, 1st chair percussionist champion. Just saying. 

I didn’t like the circumstances that brought us to Michigan, but the time spent with family I will always cherish. 

Towards the end of our time, after moms discharge, we were able to take a trip to a little town by the name of Frankenmuth. 

That was the first date we had been on in maybe 3 months. I don’t  know if anyone knows how to create normalcy during or after a crisis, it just has to happen. It’s about understanding that everything and everyone is precious. I know it sounds corny, but it’s true. We sat in that tiny town and remembered all things and people we were thankful for. 

The last night was spent eating ice cream and sugar free pudding around the TV. I thought about the band concerts, hockey games, and the crazy amount of love. I love Michigan and the people that make it feel like home. 

All my life I’ve been told that if you plan and make good choices your life should remain relatively undisturbed. I don’t agree. This Friday I would have married my bestfriend and we would have began the adventure called life with unrealistic expections. Crisis can happen to the best of people and be completely random, but the same goes for fortune and happy things as well. Life should be lived with the expectation of adventure and struggle, each one able to interchange at moments notice.

Moms doing better and getting stronger each and everyday, of course all while still looking beautiful. 

I’m excited to call these wonderful human beings my family and even more excited to be able to personally tell you about the strength and love shown by this amazing unit of people. 

So to Dad, Mom, Leah, Oma, Aunt Christina, Aunt Melissa, Grandma, and Grandpa; Thank you. 

Expectations (15)

I originally wrote this a few days ago, but after a little more thought and editing I’m finally ready to share. 

Now before you close the browser because you are a hardcore Obama hater, understand a few things; I’m a Historian and I do not cater to political bias. 

Now before you close your browser becuase you are a hardcore Obama supporter who does not feel I’m doing him justice, understand this, I do not believe in great man history. (I’m talking to you Reagan)  

I’m here to offer you facts and societal observations. If you want a source that only caters to YOUR view points please go indulge in MSNBC or Fox news. 

Now that the tough words are over with on with the blog. 

With the upcoming inauguration only mere days away I felt very pressed to produce this before President Obama left office. 

I can remember sitting in my high school classroom 8 years ago discussing what the election of Barack Obama stood for in a country that only four decades prior would not allow a person of color access to equal opportunities let alone decent a toliet. 

The election brought with it a horrific undertone, that looking back now, seemed virtually undetectable. 

Majority leader Mitch McConnell would be the kick off to that very horrific  undertone. He vowed to make our President a one term President. 

I remember as a teenager in early 2009 hearing people say many things. I heard that President Obama would be a beacon of hope for people of color who wanted to be respected when it came to being a vital member of society. On the other hand I heard that Barry would be the worst President we ever had. 

It was in that moment I began to understand that this was going to be a definitive moment in American history and the molding of our culture. 

2008: A housing bubble caused by lending people money for property that had no means of paying the money back causes a financial collapse as well a massive effect on the housing market. (President at the time: George Bush) 

2009: I’m going to get long winded here, so I present to you the first ever video produced by welcometothe39th:

Dear President Obama:

Farewell (14)

Hello there 39ers, how are you today? 

I’ve regretfully been more and more swamped with work and plans for my upcoming nuptials. I’m sorry I promised you a writing schedule at probably one of the most volatile points in my life to date. I promise you I have still been working, crafting, and of course still writing. Although a few of my blogs got delayed, they will be posted with haste over the next couple of days. 

So what’s the big news?

Well I’m writing a series called California Dreams, It will be 5 very special blogs that will be posted March 4th  thru March 8th followed by a very special video. This will be my farewell to my home. 

I feel a great sadness to part with my home of twenty three years, but I’m hopeful. 

Home (13)

​Hello there! I hope you can forgive me for being a day late here, yesterday was a long day. I’m here here to finally tell you the stories of my recent travels. 

December 19th, 2016 : I remember pacing my small bathroom getting ready to leave for the trip of a lifetime. I had never been past my neighboring state of Nevada, and the thrill of adventure had left me light headed.

We rode a train for many days.

We made several stops along the way.  

We ended up in some place called Michigan.

It was cold, but filled with so much warmth. 

Truth be told all these pictures are a bit of a cover for a severe case of writers block. I learned so much on my trip to Michigan, but I can’t seem to force it out of my brain. It disappoints me that I can’t muster up words to explain their kindness. I honestly had no idea what to expect when I showed up in that tiny town, but to my surprise it was everything I expected. A Midwestern bubble filled with charm and deer meat. (The deer meat was so tasty.)

As natives of our respective places of origin, we internalize what we were raised with and who we were raised with and that is the lense we use to view the world. It’s how we determine for ourselves what we view as normal and what we view as foreign.

For example : Growing up my family always celebrated things like Christmas or Thanksgiving with large informal parties. The parties were about everyone being together rather than tradition. Everyone served themselves and sat where they pleased and they laughed and joked over my grandma’s peach cobbler. 

I didn’t grow up setting the tables or taking family photos, passing salt or with many traditions, but it took a trip to the Midwest to help me understand it was alright. 

I encountered a lot of things that were very foreign to me, like place settings. I for the life of me could not understand why people placed knives and forks in a certain order only to move them after they began eating. The head of the table thing was weird to me also. The dirt roads, the grass fields, and the Amish were also so new to me. It left me with the fuzzest of feelings. I live for diversity and here I was in the heart of it. It was diversity of experience. I found myself mixed into a small majority white town in the middle of nowhere filled with people who were teachers, doctors, students, ect. They were just people living normal lives, just different kinds of lives.

I guess I’m just a hippie who wants everyone to take the time and emerse themselves in a situation that is very different from their own and challenge themselves not to think of it as better or worse than what they grew up with. I had the thrill of a lifetime learning to play card games, frosting cookies, singing hymns, and learning what kinds of traditions differnt families hold. I also learned something about myself, I’m a slight traditionalist. I loved those big family parties from my childhood. Barbecue and pools. Peach cobler and greens. This is my experience, my home. 

As long as a home is healthy, traditionalism does not have a to have one face. I also believe it is possible to maintain traditions while investigating and incorporating others.

I’ll be married soon and this is something that I look forward to. I wait with excitement to see how my husband and I will blend our experiences and create a sense of normal for our children.

Michigan was amazing and beyond beautiful and the people were just as beautiful. I encourage you to travel and to see homes filled with different things and people. I encourage you to eat different kinds of food. I encourage you to watch different types of entertainment. I encourage you to hear different kinds of view points. The world can never really look the same form several different vantage points.

Birdie(12) 

Hello my 39ers, happy new year!

I know, it’s early, but writing this blog has become life. I said I would be making changes around these parts, so here they are:

1) I have made a contact email, its more a hopeful thing. If I could find sponsors that would only make bringing you the 39th just that much easier. I’m talking to you Travelocity.  

2) I have created a posting schedule! I will post every two days starting from Monday.  (M, TH,S) 

3) I’m here to make you feel special. I want you to feel human, meaning that you’re not alone in this. I don’t know you, nor probably will I ever, but I care.

This my friends is the 39th

So on with this crazy blog.  I spent the last few weeks traveling and exploring America, and boy is she beautiful. I found myself glancing out of large windows that depicted a world far different from the one that I was use to. This would begin my journey toward adventure and my pursuit of diversity. I will reveal what I learned and recount all my adventures in my next blog, but for now I’m going to skip ahead to what happend when I returned.  

I personally find the most noble trait to be endurance, but I never expected to see it shown so well by a little brown bird. 

It was early New Years Eve, the sky was foggy but somehow still bright. I was throwing crackers at birds with my fiancé until I noticed a brave face. In a crowd of Pigeons and other little brown birds, there she was. A small brown bird with a mangled left leg and a twisted neck. She was so beautiful. 

Although she was disfigured and at a disadvantage, she still dove into the crowd of birds fighting for mere crumbs. I watched her slowly hobble after pieces her fellow birds chased with ease, but then it happend, she flew. I watched this small mangled bird sore. Its face haunted me for days. 

I want to say we all feel like that bird,  but then I realize why its face haunted me so. It seems to be second nature to see something that doesn’t mimic a certain standard and begin to pitty sed thing. That bird was a lot stronger than most people I know, and didn’t need my pitty or assumption that it was weak. I judged skill based on minor physical deformities. In other words, I judged it by its cover. That bird held its own despite a few physical set backs and was able to still sore among its own. 

Yet I still feel like the bird.  

I have monster teeth, I’m underweight,  and I stutter when I’m nervous or low on confidence. I can’t tell you how many times people have assumed things because of my teeth or the time it takes me to do certain physical tasks. I know what’s its like to have people already assume the worst of you or lack confidence in your ability, but all the while you could do that thing they assumed you couldn’t. I don’t understand why people do that, but hurt people hurt people.  

I’ve had people make fun of my teeth and the fact that it’s hard for me to close my mouth, but unless they would like to drop thousands of dollars to correct the damage from my first time in braces,  they can have several seats.  

I’ve had people make fun of the fact that I can’t lift things or that I’m a little slower performing physically strenuous tasks. 

I’ve had people make fun of me when I stutter, but until those self entitled jerks understand that tearing into someone who already fights every day to raise their self esteem won’t stop the stuttering, well they have their own insecurities. 

Holding your own doesn’t mean being arrogant and thinking you’ve beat circumstance, it’s understanding that who you are is good enough to keep learning. 

I write a blog, I’m an amateur historian, and I’m about as studious of human interaction as they come. Small physical deformities,or gained physical deformities, do not denote a lack of intelligence or skill. 

In other words, get’em. You ain’t gotta prove nothing. 

Ignorance (11) 

Well howdy 39ers, welcome to my final blog of 2016. I’d first like to thank you for reading any of the ten blogs I’ve posted in the last three months.  I never really understood how much I loved writing them until I poored my soul into these sort burst of energtic, slightly flashy posts.

I’m ever so excited to share with you guys that the39th will be going through some very big changes when it resumes January 12th, and just like the current status of my life,  it’s bound to be exciting.  

I never could have imagined that I would be standing in a train station with my fiancé as we prepare to set out across the country to adventures and heights unknown. 

I never could have imagined that I would have the guts to write and share my thoughts with people.  

I never could have imagined that I would standing in this train station writing this blog about to board a train to Chicago,  but I am. 

Guys I have nothing more to say than this,  you never know so follow the smallest of your dreams.  I don’t write these in hopes of being popular,  I write this blog because I love it.  These past three months has filled me with confidence and wisdom and The 39th  has become a part of the way I express myself.  

I love ya’ll 

Merry Christmas. 

# the39th

Bed sixteen (10) 

All I remembered was waking up to a sleeping face that had been holding my hair back  for the past ten hours. He looked so peaceful despite having to keep up with me all day. I felt such a rush of warmth and sadness. 

I remember fragments of the the day we met, he was tall and gentle, but his voice was firm. His presense was distant and his eyelashes were long. His long blank stare accidentally drew me into his world that day. 

He had no idea the pain that I was going through when our paths crossed that day, but I had no idea about the extent of his pain either. 

I used to think of him as a man of few words, but his vast amount of silence was very telling. I remember the day he drove me all around town just so I wouldn’t miss a bus leaving for an event. (I still owe him pancakes for that favor)

 I remember when he sat with me in the gymnasium and listened to all my insignificant problems. He wouldn’t let me catch a stray dog I later saw in a parking lot, but he kept cracking jokes to lift my spirits. He was always putting my feelings ahead of his. 

Despite the constant changes and disappointments in my life, he was the only constant I was learning not mind. Not only was this a big deal for me, it was really unheard of. I’m not really one to emote well, especially not those kinds of emotions. I hate those kinds of feelings. 

He was always there when I needed him, but he never complained. He always made my happiness a priority. He loved me like an extension of himself. I always felt guilty for not being able to return those feelings with the same intensity. 

I got in a car accident the day after Thanksgiving a year ago. When I was taken to the ER they placed me in bed sixteen. I think of the car accident as a moment that was pivotal in our history, a catalyst in the forming of our friendship. 

The other night I woke up to the gentle, yet slightly depressed boy who had moved here over a year ago now, and I couldn’t believe how much I loved him. 

As I looked around the hospital room that I had sat in a little over a year ago, I glanced up at the large sixteen on the wall, I was slightly shaken. September sixteenth was the last day of my life I had lived without knowing of his existence. 

He’s kind, hardworking, selfless, and handsdown the most humble human being I’ve had the pleasure of encountering. I might not always be the best at expressing my emotions, but I’m grateful for his kindness. I’m grateful for the icecream, the trips to the sea, and every smile he’s ever given me. I don’t know exactly how it happend, but I love him.